Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
