Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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