I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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