ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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