just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
