Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
