i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize