Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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