She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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