it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
