That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
