yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize