so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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