No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
