that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
