I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
