i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
