I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
