the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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