That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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