Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
