Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
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1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
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Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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