I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
