11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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