I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
