You just made me feel so damn special
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Sober January is a disaster.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
