You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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