I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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