OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
