Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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