i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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