We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I understand Curling. That high.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
