Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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