Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Houston, we have a blender
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's shark week go big or go home
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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