first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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