You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
