White coat. Heels.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
