she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
