Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
