He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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