Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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