We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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