And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
