I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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