I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize