She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
