the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
