Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
