If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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