After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
