When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
