I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
