Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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